oh fuq, i need to clear up the 2021 thing

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 read back on some old posts, and i saw that i once mentioned some time ago in like christmas 2021 idk that i became an atheist... uhhhh

that aged just as well as spoilt milk. i'm catholic again. shit happens and life is just weird like that.

been "catholic again" for quite some time, since i got into college ig like 2nd yr, and tbh i feel happier like that then when i was an athiest. its sort of nice to at least know that even though one's own personal struggles happen for seeminly no reason, one could always rely on there being a God up there listening to prayers.

it is kinna doodoo to expect some mystical magical sandman fairy dust to just pop by and all your problems will be solved for you. you kinda have to figure shit out for yourself, and for the most part, one has to accept the fact that the answers we may find may not be satisfying answers, and what may be correct is one view is wrong in another lens, or even, what can be considered the "correct" answer may change subtly overtime.

i'm not going to go into the thick of it for now. that's a different rant for a different typing session since that would require me to dive into the bible and consider everything around me again. to be honest, i kinda forgot on my own personal reasoning behind coming back to the shepard's loving embrace, being the prodigal sheep i am, but i know one thing....

it kinda sucks being angry at things all the time. and i was an angry doodoohead teenager at the time.

there are some things in religious discourse that i disagree with to be honest, like in regards to the mistreatment of lgbt folk (dats bad, i like being nice to people, and god thought us that too). speaking of, i'm still an lgbt person, cos i identify under the aromantic-asexual banners cos.... idk sex and romance never popped as "interesting" to me compared as it did to friends my age. it wasn't a "oooh this shits sinful as fuck boi. god wants a christhajftnbkjaslm marriage and shit." it was more like "....idk wat you want me to do here chief. they pretty, but doing star trek, chicken nuggies, and warm flat sprite sounds significantly more appealing"

probably a bunch of other things, but all i know is i feel a bit happier in the christian fold nonetheless. i am lasallian and benildean afterall, and there are cool merits to it. 

like i said in the previous post, i may not know everything or be prepared for every shitty scenario, but i do know enough that regardless, shit will hit the fan. it's a manner of how you deal with the shit as it hits your face and messes up the room. we sort of have to figure everything out ourselves, and what matters is that we are doing something positive and productive about it.

i may not have the best argument to throw my hat on for the great discourse of "does God exist, if so, why do people suffer and shit?", but all i can say is that i'm just happy knowing that while i try to pick up the pieces of whatever gets shattered and wipe the shit off myself and my surroundings, there's someone up there who's listening and cheering me on.

yugi may not be perfect, tbh the world isnt that great either, but he is trying to do with what he gots, and God loves him for that.

pray on peeps.


--YugiBearz

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